Let It Go: Post-Audition Sadness & Moving On

There's a very particular kind of ache that comes after a long audition process. When you've made it through the self-tape, the recalls, the chemistry reads, the screen tests...all that waiting, hoping. You've imagined yourself in the role, you've half-lived in that world...you've maybe even signed a test deal.

And then...

It's a no.

Not because you weren't good enough. Not because you didn't put the work in. But because of something outside of your control.

Casting politics, schedules, chemistry with another actor, or simply - they've gone in a different direction.

And even though you know all of this logically in your head, emotionally your heart breaks a little. Because you wanted it. Badly.

I want to talk about what we can do in that in-between place, when your nervous system is overwhelmed, your thoughts are spiralling and you're sitting stewing in your own disappointment, grief, self-doubt, and maybe even - shame.

First: Let Yourself Be Sad

You're allowed to grieve the version of your life you thought might be the beginning, the breakthrough, the dream. It's not indulgent or dramatic, it's human.

You invested time, energy and imagination into something that mattered a whole lot to you. Let yourself cry. Let yourself be quiet. Cancel the plans if you need to.

Your body doesn't know the difference between emotional threat and physical danger; it feels the rejection viscerally, so let it process. That might mean stillness. Or tears. Or journaling about it in your notes app. It might be taking a long hot shower, or a bath, or driving out to your favourite spot and screaming.

Sitting with the sadness doesn't mean wallowing; it means you're honouring the part of you that dared to hope. That part deserves tenderness, not a rushed pep talk back to normal.

Then: Regulate and Reframe

Don't try to force a silver lining straight away. Before we jump to 'something better is coming', it's important to bring regulate your nervous system.

Here are a few ways you can ground yourself:

• breathe - slow, deep exhales that last longer than inhales;

• move - shake it off (literally), go for a walk, stretch, punch a pillow if you need to;

• connect - let someone you trust know that you're hurting;

• comfort - wrap yourself in your favourite blanket, put on your comfy clothes, drink something warm.

Once your body feels safer, your mind can start to think clearly again.

Reconnecting With Your Self-Worth

It's easy to tie our worth to the 'yes' or 'no', to how far we got in the process, or how we think we measured up to everyone else.

But casting is not always a meritocracy.

The best person for the role is not always the most talented - it's the person who fits the puzzle, often in ways we can't see.

Your artistry, your ability, your essence...none of that is dimished by a 'no'. You are still the performer who made it to the final round. Still the actor who moved someone in that room. You are still worthy of telling stories that matter.

And Finally: Keep The Flame Lit!

If this role sparked something in you, that's not wasted energy. Use it. Make something with friends. Write your own scene. Channel the longing into fuel. The ache means you care, and that's good. That means you're still in it. You're still showing up for yourself.

Some auditions crack us open. But cracks let the light in.

You didn't get this one, but something else is on the way. When it comes, you'll be ready, because you knew how to fall and rise again.